Funny Things Happen at Christmas

Jamie always likes a 'lie in' on Christmas day, keeping out of the way of the kids.

But his Mum got him out of bed, this year to take one of her puddings round to Aunt 'Lil.

Jamie decided to go in his car, deliver it, come straight back and jump into bed again,

That meant he didn't need to get properly dressed, just put on an overcoat.

Unfortunately he balanced the pud on his lap to keep it safe, while hurrying there.
and taking a speed hump too fast, resulted in a sudden close encounter with holly and cream.
It spoiled his puddings (and his new overcoat).

 

When Aunt 'Lil saw what a state he was in, she said it was a godsend 

that she'd bought him a nice pair of colourful pyjamas as his present. 

He could put them on to go back in and impress the neighbours.

(Aunt 'Lil' is colour-blind  and Jase doesn't actually wear pyjamas

but his Mum will make sure he writes a proper 'Thank You' note).

Jamie wasn't exactly thrilled either, with his girlfriend's present of lacy underwear.

 She'd probably want him to wear them and nothing else when he thanked her for the gift.

But it's what might follow afterwards that really worried him.

As usual Jamie was baffled by his 'trait' and after about 100 incorrect guesses, 

Uncle Fred decided he ought to give him an easy clue.

He meant to say "it's what your Mum always makes you do" 

What he actually said "it's what your girlfriend always makes you do".

Well it all went very quiet all of a sudden. 

But Jamie was thinking and suddenly thought about having to wear sexy knickers,
so he tentatively put his hand inside his jeans and looked at GF for confirmation

She just went bright red, then got up and stormed out in a huff.

Jamie was philosophical afterwards, "I wouldn't have got it anyway" he said

and at least he wouldn't have to put on those lacy underpants that night.

~ 

After all the upset Jamie decided he'd sneak off to the annex, get rid of those lacy undies
 and have a bit of a nap to sleep off his giant Christmas Dinner with wine and pudding

photo: Luis Rafael

Needless to say, the kids soon missed their Uncle Jamie and sought him out to play.
Unable to rouse him from his alcoholic slumber they soon thought of other mischief.

The youngest girl got a face painting kit this year, the boys tried to get her to use it on Jamie.
But she took fright at his nakedness and ran off crying, leaving the boys to try it out themselves
The result was a charmingly expressed, perfectly genuine tribute to Jamie and his muscles.

photo Simon Barnes

Jamie woke up blurry-eyed two hours later and stumbled groggily into the living room.

Mum immediately laughed and told him to make himself look decent
Dad told him to get out of the way of the TV where 007 was causing mayhem.
Granny remarked that he looked just like Kevin Clifton from 'Strictly'

The boys sniggeringly pointed out that Superman wore his pants over the top of tights

Then they kept on afterwards giggling at private jokes about telephone boxes
But Jamie didn't get it - not until his shower the following morning.


When the red ink started running down his chest he thought he'd cut himself.
He called out to the boys to let them know how funny he thought it was

~

It's one of Jamie's jobs to take them all out for a walk on Boxing Day morning
Of course the boys kept ribbing him about being Super Jamie
and he kept complaining about how it wouldn't all come off.

When they got to the Park, they stopped to watch the models on the boating lake
Jamie was still grumbling about having to wash again so the boys pushed him in.

photo: Luis aRfael

Jamie thought it was a hilarious joke, although the water was a bit cold.
It was a long walk home in a biting wind too, but Jamie didn't mind, he was a good sport.
And he didn't want to spoil the kid's traditional outing to the Pantomime that evening.

Last Christmas Jamie tried to get away from it all, by visiting his cousin, down under.

Of course he never thought about packing a sun hat, but Jeffrey lent him one.

Jamie felt a bit foolish wearing it 'cos all the Aussies on the beach went bare-headed.

But several guys came up to him and told him he looked really cute

and he lost count of how many asked to undo his Christmas package.

Jeffrey said he'd get it out and give it to him when they got home.

 NB 'Bondi' photo is Jase Dean and James Cohen, but I haven't ID'd the photographer

This principal model for this article's illustrations is the hunky Jase Dean.
Obviously my text is entirely fictional
It's not intended to suggest anything about his character or his family
and any resemblance to him or them is completely unintentional
but I'm hoping he is a good sport!

Jase is to be the subject of my latest 'hunk hunt' (continuing soon)
(click on 'hunk' label below for earlier ones)