The discussion in Navy Gunners about gun barrel sizes brought this picture to mind.
Phallic connections and weird hazing ceremonies are not entirely absent from this cheeky snap, but I imagine the erotically-shaped barrage balloon overhead was an accidental inclusion. I mentioned geekily before that 16" bore was standard for battleships, in fact the largest naval gun barrel size I can discover was 18".
Either way, I'd guess this muscular sailor won't get his shoulders inside that barrel!
A tight fit as they say.
This hunk, grappling with thick rope seems immersed in an erotic odyssey of his own.
The snake-like hawser looks like a chain of cock-heads, it's a wonder it hasn't been banned.
But it might explain the slightly apprehensive look on his face.
Of course this man isn't a real sailor, but how eagerly the Navy Press Gang would snap him up
if they were still around and found him loitering on he dockside like this,
amazingly fit, already kitted out and ready to go.
After all, the lads on board need a bit more muscle help.
Looking after those guns is a demanding cleaning chore.
No sooner have the crew got them nice and shiny
than some idiot Officer wants them fired again .
For those who arrive without the necessary kit, a member of the crew will probably lend the basics if the man in question takes his fancy. After all there a few things more erotic than watching another man put your clothes on. Especially if they are a little undersized. No-one really wants to borrow another man's underpants but it transpires that no-one wears them on this ship anyway.
At least that eases the crotch squeeze a little bit.
It looks like this chap completely lost out in the uniform lottery
He's obliged to make do with shorts until they reach a port with a Navy Store.
You can see he has to hastily hand-wash them and put them on again un-ironed.
that's to avoid his nudity being taken the wrong way by a passing shipmate.
I hope they're not making him catch his own dinner as well!
A crew mate looks on as though calculating his chances.
Once in port, just getting to the Navy Uniform Store has risks of it's own
I'm sure you know the seedy undesirables who tend to hang around such places.
Wherever sailors are to be found in fact.
A scantily clad, muscular, sailor is right up their alley (with any luck).
They can tell he's a malleable novice by his pristine, un-mangled cap.
Cut off from their friends and family and surrounded by succulent flesh,
close friendships soon start forming amongst the pressed men.
Anchors, ropes and other duties get neglected for more interesting challenges.
Before long the men are snatching eagerly at any pleasure on offer
In the bowels of the ship, chance encounters explode into spontaneous passion.
Throbbing engine rooms are littered with discarded items of clothing
Up on deck, new recruits diligently polishing the ships rails
find themselves accosted by frustrated crewmen
who have found the influx of mini-muscle-hunks irresistible
and demand to sample those rubbing skills.
Meanwhile in the f'ocsle, crusty chains go unpolished as bored hunks gather
and eagerly swallow opportunistic R&R offerings.
These last two images are by Regularted but I can't find a web address for him
apart from an empty account at Deviant Art.
Temptations abound as those who haven't paired off yet
start to openly flaunt what they've got,
blaming their borrowed uniforms for their lack of suitors.
Rather than their unenthusiastic facial expressions.
Luckily the knowing, older hands take pity and kindly offer help sessions in their cabins
where can they offer advice in privates and inject wisdom (etc.) into the grateful ingenues.
They reassure the laggards they too will be fully integrated into the comradeship of the vessel
(once they've thoroughly certified them as being up to it).
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| Richard Pierce |
It's an eye-opening lesson the recruits will always remember
One that will be indispensable in the Service career ahead of them.
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| Ulf - Naval Officer |
Well you know what sailors are!
click on the 'sailors' label below for more matelots.